[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

It didn t. I let my head drop back down and sighed. At least with Coyote for company I d regained some
equilibrium.  What do you want from me? I asked again, more subdued.
Coyote I was going to have to find something else to call my coyote; after this, calling him Coyote
would be like calling a mountain lion  kitty  Coyote leaned forward until my eyes crossed, and put the
slope of his forehead against mine.
Fragments of memory shot through my brain, sharp as shrapnel.
Sara Buchanan s angry eyes, blaming me for a decision that already terrified me.
A desolate garden coming to life.
A dark-haired woman with a silver choker and a ready laugh.
Dusty highway roads stretching in front and in back of us as far as I could see. My father, slender-
shouldered, quiet and thoughtful, tapping out a tune against the steering wheel. I didn t know where we
were going, didn t recognize where we might ve been. The story of my childhood, never belonging, in a
more literal sense than most lonely kids feel. A bitterness old enough to feel tired filled my throat. I
turned my head away from Coyote, dry spitting the taste of resentment from my mouth.
The images blasted on, undeterred by breaking contact with Coyote.
A baby boy, his sister too small to live.
Getting off a plane in Dublin, searching for features that might be at all like mine. Not finding them, even
when the mother I didn t know touched my arm and asked,  Siobhàn?
SIOBHÀN
I flinched so hard my whole body cramped up. My name thundered through the recesses of my mind
again, echoing and slamming against the inside of my head. I doubled again, trying to twist my arms
around somehow to protect myself from the huge sound. My own name tore at me, pulling images from
beneath my skin, faster, like tenterhooks with no regard for pain.
 a tunnel of darkness leading into somewhere I was afraid of, astral lights bluing the path
 a beautiful man, high-cheek boned and grim-mouthed standing with a gun to my head
a
a
T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
m
m
w
w
o
o
w
w
c
c
.
.
.
.
A
A
Y
Y
B
B
Y
Y
B
B
r r
 a horned god standing over me, sword lifted for a killing blow
 Morrison, white with pain, shouting at me
 Gary grinning over his shoulder at me, pulling away from the airport in his cab, apparently driving by
use of the Force
 a thin scar on my right cheek, running from my eye to just below the corner of my mouth
 tearing across flat earth in Petite, the speedometer clocking over a hundred and forty
 a banshee s head held in my hand, dangling from its hair
 bone-wearying exhaustion, like sleep had come to weigh on me with all its strength
 a baby boy, his sister too small to live
 a diploma, the name I d abandoned written on it: Joanne Walkingstick
WALKINGSTICK.
I began to scream.
 a race against the Wild Hunt a snake s bright black eyes, staring at me a kiss I d waited years to
taste a graveyard with a new marker, and me on my knees beside it another grave another a
bewildered child wailed and flung herself at coffin-bearing men me, squalling and waving angry red
fists in the air, a man s brogue saying,  And there she is, our wee Siobhàn, welcome, alanna, welcome,
as he lifted me into the air and another voice, one I knew somewhere in my bones, saying,  Already?
before my own voice, cracked with age or pain, replied,  It had to happen sometime, and coldness
settled over me a dark-haired teenage boy, expression neutral and calm a cauldron bubbling with the
stench of death a raven with a woman s eyes a mantis, preying
a baby boy, his sister too small to live!
 STOP IT! My eyes flew open and I thrust Coyote away with everything I had, all my heart put into the
rejection. He exploded in a burst of white that seared my eyeballs, pain so intense I thought I could feel
the nerves sizzling and spitting into decay. I flew backward from the force of the blast, driven farther by
the strength of my own pain and fury, and slammed back into the Lower World so hard I jolted over
backward. The snake that encircled me lifted its head and spat with annoyance, then slithered out from
under me to coil itself tall beside Judy. My eyes burned as I sat up again, holding my head and squinting
at them. The light still dazzled my eyes, and the two of them were inversed, their black eyes glowing
white. Judy s skin was black and almost featureless, like shadows had come to live on it, and the snake s
scaled hide spun between purples and dark greens. I swallowed down nausea and turned my head away,
looking for something that was a normal color.
The sky provided; it was deep cerulean, almost too dark for nature, but less disturbing than Judy s
shadowy skin. Only when my gaze went to the sun did I realize that it was black, too, and that in the
Lower World the sky should be crimson, not blue. I pressed the heels of my hands over my eyes and
shuddered.  I have to go back. My voice still sounded parched to my own ears, and I didn t want to look
at Judy to see if her expression said I sounded odd to her, too.  & snake, will you come with me? I
a
a
T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
m
m
w
w
o
o
w
w
c
c
.
.
.
.
A
A
Y
Y
B
B
Y
Y
B
B
r r
didn t know how to address it, and I didn t want to look at its swimming patterns, either. It hissed with
ill-concealed annoyance, but slithered forward and climbed up my body to wrap around my shoulders.
 Thank you, I whispered, grateful to not have to look at it. My hands pressed against my eyes were
making sparks that reminded me:  Where s 
I didn t finish the question before I felt the presence I was looking for. The tortoise appeared behind my
eyelids again, its colors bright and proper, unlike everything around me.  There you are, I whispered.
 Thank you.
It bobbed its head agreeably and I swallowed against sickness again. The snake wanted me to carry it on
my shoulders, but the tortoise seemed satisfied to come along for the ride behind my eyelids.
 Tomorrow, I grated at Judy.  I ll come back tomorrow.
I couldn t close my eyes any harder, but I tried, and fell upward through my bellybutton back home.
a
a
T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
m
m
w
w
o
o
w
w
c
c
.
.
.
.
A
A
Y
Y
B
B
Y
Y
B
B
r r
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Previous Contents Next
The snake wasn t actually coiled around my shoulders when I opened my eyes in my dark living room. I
could feel its weight, but my fingers brushed my arms as I folded them around myself, not meeting any
scaly resistance. My head hurt. My skin hurt; I tested it with my fingertips, trying to feel heat. There
wasn t any, but the papery dryness of sunburn was there. I got up and walked through darkness to turn the
shower on, not bothering with the lights. The single window in the bathroom was curtained, but enough
morning light leaked through the shade to keep me from killing myself as I stepped into the tub.
The hot water was too hot. I turned it down again, then again, until it was lukewarm and cooled my skin.
I felt vaguely sick to my stomach, more exhaustion than genuine illness, and wondered what time it was.
Maybe I could nap before work.
No, I couldn t. I groaned and put my face against the shower wall. The tile was cold, shocking my
cheekbone. I groaned again, in appreciation, and turned around to lean against the tile, letting cool water
run down my front. I felt sunburned, all over, my skin too thin and too hot. I wondered if I had any aloe [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]