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stairs. It struck me as strange that a day of relative inactivity out in the cold had wearied me as much as a
day of strenuous work.
Once I was inside my room, Smithy's warm greeting and eager consumption of the meat was like a
healing balm. As soon as he had finished eating, we snuggled into bed. He wanted to bite and tussle, but
soon gave up on me. I let sleep claim me.
And woke with a jolt to darkness, fearing that I had slept too long. A glance at the sky told me I could
beat the sun to the rooftop, but just barely. No time to wash myself or eat or clean up after Smithy, and it
was just as well Galen had forbidden shoes and socks, for I had no time to put mine on. I was too tired
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even to feel a fool as I raced through the keep and up the stairs of the tower. I could see others hurrying
before me by wavering torchlight, and when I emerged from the stairwell, Galen's quirt fell on my back.
It bit unexpectedly sharp through my thin shirt. I cried out in surprise as much as pain. Stand like a man
and master yourself, bastard, Galen told me harshly, and the quirt fell again. Everyone else had resumed
their places of the day before. They looked as weary as I, and most, too, looked as shocked as I felt by
Galen's treatment of me. To this day I don't know why, but I went silently to my place and stood there
facing Galen.
Whoever comes last is late, and will be treated so, he warned us. It struck me as a cruel rule, for the
only way to avoid his quirt tomorrow was to arrive early enough to see it fall on one of my fellows.
There followed another day of discomfort and random abuse. So I see it now. So I think I knew it then,
in my heart of hearts. But ever he spoke of proving us worthy, of making us tough and strong. He made it
an honor to be standing out in the cold, bare feet going numb against the chill stone. He roused in us a
competition, not just against each other, but against his shabby images of us. Prove me wrong, he said
over and over. I beg you, prove me wrong, that I may show the King at least one pupil worthy of my
time. And so we tried. How strange now to look back on it all and wonder at myself. But in the space of
one day, he had succeeded in isolating us and plunging us into another reality, where all rules of courtesy
and common sense were suspended. We stood silently in the cold, in various uncomfortable positions,
eyes closed, wearing little more than our undergarments. And he walked among us, dealing out cuts from
his silly little whip, and insults from his nasty little tongue. He cuffed occasionally, or shoved, something
that is much more painful when one is chilled to the bone.
Those who flinched or wavered were accused of weakness. During the day he berated us with our
unworthiness and repeated that he had only consented to try to teach us at the King's behest. The women
he ignored, and though he often spoke of past Princes and Kings who had wielded the Skill in defense of
the realm, he never once mentioned the Queens and Princesses who had done likewise. Nor did he ever
once give us an overview of what he was attempting to teach us. There was only the cold and the
discomfort of his exercises, and the uncertainty of when we would be struck. Why we struggled to
endure it, I don't know. So quickly were we all made accomplices in our own degradation.
The sun finally ventured once again toward the horizon. But Galen had saved two final surprises for us
that day. He let us stand, open our eyes, and stretch freely for a few moments. Then he gave us a final
lecture, this one to warn us against those among us who would undermine the training of all by foolish
self-indulgences. He walked slowly among us as he spoke, wending his way in and out of our rows, and I
saw many a rolling eye and intake of breath as he passed. Then, for the first time that day, he ventured
over to the women's corner of the court.
Some, he cautioned us as he strolled, think themselves above rules. They think themselves worthy of
special attention and indulgences. Such illusions of superiority must be driven from you before you can
learn anything. It is hardly worthy of my time for me to have to teach these lessons to such laggards and
dolts as need them. It is a shame that they have even found their way into our gathering. But they are
among us, and I will honor the will of my king, and attempt to teach them. Even though there is only one
way I know to waken such lazy minds.
To Merry he gave two quick cuts with the quirt. But Serene he shoved down onto one knee and struck
four times. To my shame, I stood there with the rest, as each cut fell, and hoped only that she would not
cry out and bring more punishment on herself.
But Serene rose; swayed once, and then stood again, still, looking out over the heads of the girls before
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her. I breathed a sigh of relief. But then Galen was back, circling like a shark around a fishing boat,
speaking now of those who thought themselves too good to share the discipline of the group, of ones
who indulged in meat in plenty while the rest limited ourselves to wholesome grains and pure foods. I
wondered uneasily who had been so foolish as to visit the kitchen after hours.
Then I felt the hot lick of the whip on my shoulders. If I had thought he was using the lash to his full
capability before, he proved me wrong now.
You thought to deceive me. You thought I would never know if Cook saved her precious pet a plate of
tidbits, didn't you? But I know all that happens in Buckkeep. Don't deceive yourself about that.
It dawned on me that he was speaking of the meat scraps I'd taken up to Smithy.
That food wasn't for me, I protested, and then could have bitten my tongue out.
His eyes glittered coldly. You'd lie to save yourself a little just pain. You'll never master the Skill. You'll
never be worthy of it. But the King has commanded that I try to teach, and so I will try. Despite you or
your low birth.
In humiliation I took the welts he dealt me. He berated me as each fell, telling the others that the old rules
against teaching the Skill to a bastard had been to prevent just such a thing as this.
Afterward, I stood, silent and shamed, as he went down the rows, dealing a perfunctory swat with the
quirt to each of my fellows, explaining as he did so that we all must pay for the failures of the individuals.
It did not matter that this statement made no sense, or that the whip fell lightly compared with what Galen [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]