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sailed slowly past them, the headline showing.
Did you get it? Perkins demanded.
Natch, said Clarence. Is that all? he asked the editor.
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Natc I mean, that s all.
Okay, said Clarence, picked up his case, and left. The editor sighed. Gentlemen, he said, let s have
a drink.
Four drinks later Perkins and his boss were still arguing. Pappy had left. Be reasonable, Boss, Pete
was saying, you can t print an item about a live whirlwind. They d laugh you out of town.
Managing Editor Gaines straightened himself.
It s the policy of theForum to print all the news, and print it straight. This is news we print it. He
relaxed. Hey! Waiter! More of the same and not so much soda.
But it s scientifically impossible.
You saw it, didn t you?
Yes, but
Gaines stopped him. We ll ask the Smithsonian Institution to investigate it.
They ll laugh at you, Perkins insisted. Ever hear of mass hypnotism?
Huh? No, that s no explanation Clarence saw it, too.
What does that prove?
Obvious to be hypnotized you have to have a mind.Ipso facto.
You meanipse dixit.
Quit hiccuping. Perkins, you shouldn t drink in the daytime. Now start over and say it slowly.
How do you know Clarence doesn t have a mind?
Prove it.
Well, he s alive he must have some sort of a mind, then.
That s just what I was saying, the whirlwind is alive; therefore it has a mind. Perkins, if those
long-beards from the Smithsonian are going to persist in their unscientific attitude, I for one will not stand
for it. TheForum will not stand for it. You will not stand for it.
Won t I?
Not for one minute. I want you to know theForum is behind you, Pete. You go back to the parking lot
and get an interview with that whirlwind.
But I ve got one. You wouldn t let me print it.
Who wouldn t let you print it? I ll fire him! Come on, Pete. We re going to blow this town sky high.
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Stop the run. Hold the front page. Get busy! He put on Pete s hat and strode rapidly into the men s
room.
Pete settled himself at his desk with a container of coffee, a can of tomato juice, and the Midnight Final
(late afternoon) edition. Under a 4-col. cut of Kitten s toy was his column, boxed and moved to the front
page. 18-point boldface ordered SEE EDITORIAL PAGE 12. On page 12 another black line enjoined
him to SEE OUR FAIR CITY PAGE ONE. He ignored this and read: MR. MAYOR RESIGN!!!!
Pete read it and chuckled. An ill wind symbolic of the spiritual filth lurking in the dark corners of
the city hall. will grow to cyclonic proportions and sweep a corrupt and shameless administration
from office. The editorial pointed out that the contract for street cleaning and trash removal was held by
the Mayor s brother-in-law, and then suggested that the whirlwind could give better service cheaper.
Pete is that you? Pappy s voice demanded. They got me down at the station house.
What for?
They claim Kitten is a public nuisance.
I ll be right over. He stopped by the Art Department, snagged Clarence, and left. Pappy was seated in
the station lieutenant s office, looking stubborn. Perkins shoved his way in. What s he here for? he
demanded, jerking a thumb at Pappy.
The lieutenant looked sour. What are you butting in for, Perkins? You re not his lawyer.
Not yet, Clarence. For news, Dumbrosky I work for a newspaper, remember? I repeat what s he
in for?
Obstructing an officer in the performance of his duty.
That right, Pappy?
The old man looked disgusted. This character He indicated one of the policemen comes up to
my lot and tries to snatch the Manila-Bay paper away from Kitten. I tell her to keep it up out of his way.
Then he waves his stick at me and orders me to take it away from her. I tell him what he can do with his
stick. He shrugged. So here we are.
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